Friday, August 14, 2009

New jobbie job

Today was my second day at my new job. Starting to get some confidence. Starting to not feel like a complete moron. I just have to keep comparing it to my last job. If I can handle 15 screaming kids on my own, I can tackle anything. I need more self assurance. Then I wouldn't get so rattled when I know a customer is impatient or second guess myself when my manager is standing over me. I just worry so much about making a mistake that I ask a lot of questions and it makes me look incompetent. I know I should just be pleased that I have a job. Thankful that I work in a place that I actually enjoy . . . if I didn't have to start in the middle of their crunch period. I guess I just have to wait it out. I'm just hoping I'll still have a job when the wait is through.

I can name two positives from my job: 1) I am meeting new people 2) I am getting out the house so now I'm not as stir crazy as I use to be. I just thought of a third, I actually have something to talk about.

On the other hand, I am failing back into my old bad habits. I don't know what it's so hard for me to let my personality show from the beginning. My manager called me timid today and the worse part is I know it's true. Ironic how just a few weeks ago, when I entered the building with my best friend as a customer, I shushed for being too boisterous. I am a very loud, passionate, funny, sassy, intelligent, strong person . . . when I get comfortable around you. Until then I am quiet, timid, unsure of myself. Plus, it can take a ridiculously long time for me to get comfortable around someone. I have to say the more willing a person is to get to know me, the easier it is for to become comfortable with them. I guess the problem is that I automatically assume the other person couldn't be interested in anything I have to say. Or it could be the fear that when I do let them glimpse the real me, they won't understand. Both of which have been proven before. Sigh


  1. Timidity is just a part of your personality. You're a complex person, Sarah. You're not one dimensional. You don't want to get to know anyone who's not interested in getting to know you anyway. People who are worth your time will want to get to know you. I heart you.

  2. I heart you too! Even when you blow my cover by using my real name.