I have always gone through cycles where I am content with my single status for a period and then completely miserable in it for a period. When I say "for a period," I mean a few days. In all honesty, this is a day of discontent.
My reason has a store of arguments for why I should embrace my singleness. There's the feminist that says I don't need a man to give my life meaning and, even if I spend my life as a single woman, I can still have a full successful life. There's the optimist who shouts that my life is already brimming with love and joy so I have nothing to complain about. The pessimist grumbles that I'm never going to find someone so I should get used to being alone now. The jaded claims that men only want to use me and leave me so I'm safer on my own. The selfish whines that a relationship means sharing my time and energy and decisions with someone else. The pragmatist recognizes that, if I want to do NaNoWriMo properly, then I won't have any time to invest in a new relationship until December. The pious warns against rushing into something that is not from God and reminds me that everything has a season. The faithful urges me to hold tight to promise that God has chosen someone for me and wait.
Still, the heart wants what the heart wants so it doesn't bend to any of these arguments. I only know that I'm sick of loneliness and disappointment. I am impatient for a change so I remain discontented.
Then there a moments like worship this Sunday morning. I closed my eyes as I sang to Yeshua and I felt his arms wrap around me. Just like that, it was only the two of us. We swayed to the music as I buried my face against his chest. He whispered verses from Song of Solomon to me and I knew that I was someone beautiful and precious and desirable. I knew I was someone worth dying for. My fairy tale had already come true. Nothing else mattered, no other relationship mattered under the truth that I belong to my Jesus and my Jesus belongs to me.
It's a shame how quickly I let go of these moments. I allow the world to come crowding in and the memory slips away. I keep playing with the idea of getting "Yeshua" tattooed on the ring finger of my left hand as a constant reminder that's it's a passionate, romantic, all consuming love my Jesus has for me. That truth is all I'll ever need.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Next Big Thing - Blog Tag
The lovely author Karen Heard tagged me in the "Next Big Thing" so it's my turn to answer ten questions about my work in progress. You can find her answers about her WIP, Qualia, here http://www.misheardfiction.com/the-next-big-thing-blog-tag/. The tag began as a promotional blog at SheWrites.com.
Let's jump in . . .
Ten Interview Questions for The Next Big Things:
What is the working title of your book?
By Any Other Name (at least that's what I'm going with at this moment)
Where did the idea come from for the book?
My sister researched our family tree and discovered that one of our ancestors lost her husband while she was pregnant so she named their twins Grief and Mourning. I immediately began to imagine what kind of life children named Grief and Mourning would have and then I got carried away.
What genre does your book fall under?
Mock Gothic young adult
Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
This one's difficult because my characters are fourteen and odd looking, not your typical adorable and precocious Hollywood kids. I think I have to pass but I'll let you know if something comes to me.
What is your one-sentence synopsis of your book?
Mourning and Grief never knew joy or sorrow until the day a ghryb crawled out of their mother's corpse and changed their lives forever.
Will you book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Not sure but I will probably do the rejection circuit before self-publishing.
How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
I haven't written the first draft, yet. I intend to work on it for National Novel Writing Month so hopefully it will take me thirty days.
What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
I would say it has a similar absurd humor to Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events. A friend said it reminded her of Jane Austen's Juvenilia, which I take as the highest compliment and a complete lie.
Who or What inspired you to write this book?
I had been playing with these characters when a friend mentioned that she would love to illustrate a children's book. I settled on a young adult novel but I do my best to give her interesting things to draw.
When I began to outline the story, I realized that I had a religious allegory staring me in the face. This must have come straight from God because I can never plan out symbolism or allegories without it being cheesy and forced but this one I stumbled into and it fits effortlessly in the story.
What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?
While this story is fictional and has lots of fantastical elements, the underlying message reflects my own struggle with depression after my father died and how Jesus pulled me out of that deep dark pit I dug for myself.
I wrote a scary short story for 13 Stories 'til Halloween, using my ideas and characters for this narrative, that will be incorporate into the first chapter of my novel. If you want to get a peak at the twins or are simply wondering what is a ghryb, you can find out here: http://13storiestilhalloween.wordpress.com/2012/10/22/mourning/
I promise to keep you updated on my progress and share excerpts of the developing story.
~ Moxley
Jordan Drew,
Lucy,
Lynn Blackmar,
PM Kester
tag you're it!
I have one more person that I'm waiting to hear from so I can tag. I also have one more open spot so if you want to participate, just let me know.
Let's jump in . . .
Ten Interview Questions for The Next Big Things:
What is the working title of your book?
By Any Other Name (at least that's what I'm going with at this moment)
Where did the idea come from for the book?
My sister researched our family tree and discovered that one of our ancestors lost her husband while she was pregnant so she named their twins Grief and Mourning. I immediately began to imagine what kind of life children named Grief and Mourning would have and then I got carried away.
What genre does your book fall under?
Mock Gothic young adult
Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
This one's difficult because my characters are fourteen and odd looking, not your typical adorable and precocious Hollywood kids. I think I have to pass but I'll let you know if something comes to me.
What is your one-sentence synopsis of your book?
Mourning and Grief never knew joy or sorrow until the day a ghryb crawled out of their mother's corpse and changed their lives forever.
Will you book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Not sure but I will probably do the rejection circuit before self-publishing.
How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
I haven't written the first draft, yet. I intend to work on it for National Novel Writing Month so hopefully it will take me thirty days.
What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
I would say it has a similar absurd humor to Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events. A friend said it reminded her of Jane Austen's Juvenilia, which I take as the highest compliment and a complete lie.
Who or What inspired you to write this book?
I had been playing with these characters when a friend mentioned that she would love to illustrate a children's book. I settled on a young adult novel but I do my best to give her interesting things to draw.
When I began to outline the story, I realized that I had a religious allegory staring me in the face. This must have come straight from God because I can never plan out symbolism or allegories without it being cheesy and forced but this one I stumbled into and it fits effortlessly in the story.
What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?
While this story is fictional and has lots of fantastical elements, the underlying message reflects my own struggle with depression after my father died and how Jesus pulled me out of that deep dark pit I dug for myself.
I wrote a scary short story for 13 Stories 'til Halloween, using my ideas and characters for this narrative, that will be incorporate into the first chapter of my novel. If you want to get a peak at the twins or are simply wondering what is a ghryb, you can find out here: http://13storiestilhalloween.wordpress.com/2012/10/22/mourning/
I promise to keep you updated on my progress and share excerpts of the developing story.
~ Moxley
Jordan Drew,
Lucy,
Lynn Blackmar,
PM Kester
tag you're it!
I have one more person that I'm waiting to hear from so I can tag. I also have one more open spot so if you want to participate, just let me know.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Dreams coming true
I have a terrible habit of letting my fear of failure and my perfectionism keep from even trying. As a result, I went all summer without writing and felt pretty wretched about it. I thought I would always hold myself back from the thing I wanted most.
During the summer, I also began to draw nearer to Jesus. It's been a gradual but steady change. It started with attending a city group (think home group/small group/Bible study) every other week. Then it grew to regular church and city group attendance. Next a job fell into my lap and brought with it long prayer sessions, daily Bible readings, and my city group becoming my family. All of this happened outside of myself. It had to be the work of the Holy Spirit because I could never be so disciplined or motivating to make these changes out of my own will.
This Autumn, God has moved me from blocking His will in my life. A story started to form in my mind, a young adult mock-Gothic religious allegory. The religious allegory part surprised me the most because I always stumble into symbolism and I had to play with the story for awhile to realize an allegory stared me in the face. It remained an idea I only toyed with in my mind until Jordan Drew asked me to contribute to 13 Stories 'Til Halloween a blog counting down to Halloween with a new story everyday. I took my ideas for the first chapter of the novel a turned them into a creepy short story, which I am a bit of a proud mama over. They haven't posted my story yet but the three already up are deliciously chilling so you should check them out.
To stay motivated, I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo for the first time. The goal of writing 50,000 word in 30 days is extremely intimidating. Still, if I am ever going to write a novel, it has to be now and it's going to take lots of support.
Finally, a twitter friend, Karen Heard, blog tagged me to answer ten questions about my work in progress. I will do mine on the young adult novel and it will be appearing this week.
All these opportunities that God has given me make me feel like a true writer for the first time. It's like Moxley Bugg the author has been born and I'm exciting to see how she develops. I will work harder to keep you updated on my progress and give you sneak peeks at my work. So keep reading cause big things are coming.
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