Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee

I have been a college graduate for three months now and I still haven't figured out what happens next.  My life is in limbo.  

I finally found a job at the end of July.  It has nothing to do with my English-Creative Writing degree and it's not very stimulating or challenging but it pays the bills and the company I work for is wonder so I am grateful.  Still, the job is only temporary.  I don't have a date for when the job ends and I don't have a plan for what I will do when it's over.  

My apartment lease ends at the beginning of September.  My roommate and I agree that it would be best for our friendship if we no longer lived together.  She has an apartment waiting on her.  Due to just getting a job, I don't have any money saved to put down on a place to live.  There are tentative plans to move in with some friends but I would only be living with them until December and then I don't know where I am going.  

I had a guy I was seeing for a few months but in June that relationship dissolved.  I am currently unhappy with my situation and I zeroed in on the guy-less part of it as the solution but honestly I think I just need some certainty in my life.  I need a direction.  Still, I recognize this living in limbo is of my own making.  I kept finding temporary solutions because I am reluctant to make a definite decision.  

You see I had these grand dreams.  I went to college to become a published novelist.  Last year, I wrote out a plan for moving to England after I graduated.  I thought at this point in my life I would  at least be working for a magazine or publishing house.  Also, there was the shallower,  arguably un-feministic dream that I would find the love of my life at my University (I took enough classes dealing with feminist theory to be embarrassed by this admission).  Those were my dreams for my life after college.  In reality, I am still living in Atlanta, still single, and I work at an accounting firm.  So now, I avoid committing to a decision until I can figure out how to turn my current reality into those dreams I had.

Sorry for the bizarre format.  It's been so long since I posted that blogger changed up the game on me and I don't have time right now to learn the new rules.  Hopefully, I figure it out soon.  Also I try to stick to only posting creative writing exercises but it's been so long since I posted anything, I decided to let myself slide this time.

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